Sunday, December 12, 2004
God's Will, Choice, & Prayer
God’s will has been a bit of a confusing topic for me over the years. It is one that has probably provided more pain then relief due to some mixed-up views in the past. I’m currently in a group that is discussing this, focused around Kyle's new book. The discussion last week turned towards prayer and God’s will. How does it tie in?
Before I get started, I think I’ll start with my view on God’s will in my life. I’m not really sure that I believe that God has a specific will for my life (hold on, put the phone down and read on before you call me to freak out). I’ve probably reached this conclusion before, but had not put it to such simple words in the past. Someone in our group had phrased it as such and it definitely struck a chord with me. I just have trouble believing that God a specific plan for where he wants me to be, what he wants me to do, and who he wants me to know. The reason I have trouble with this is because what happens when I choose the wrong thing to do, the wrong place to be, or the wrong people to be with? I firmly believe that everything you experience in life brings you to where you are. I cannot separate the good experiences from the bad experiences in life when I think of what has shaped me. I know I’ve made the wrong choices in the past. Chosen the wrong paths, been in the wrong relationships, said the wrong things, etc. So, if I believe that God has specific things he wants me to be doing and I believe that everything brings you to where you are/who you are, then as soon as you make one wrong choice you’ve messed the whole thing up. I just have found that the view that God has specific thing he wants me to do next is a bit destructive. If I think about that it causes me to freeze. How do I know what God wants me to do next? What if I make the wrong choice? If I make the wrong choice, what does that mean about God’s original plan for me? Talk about a nervous breakdown. This rings home for me because I have found myself in this cycle before. After college I thought I had everything figured out about what God wanted in my life. All of the questions I had asked above, I thought I knew. Then it all collapsed on me. This caused the next two years to be a bit difficult for me. I probably spent the first year questioning every decision I made and thinking that I had destroyed my life because I had the wrong choices. I had not followed “God’s Will” for my life. Where should I have been, what should I have been doing, etc… I missed out! I made the wrong choice, and that meant that I missed out on what would have been the right choice. The year after that I spent running away from God because I decided that He had not shown me his will, so it was His fault that everything had gone wrong.
So, here is where I have come to for now. I believe that God has a will for my life, but its not about a specific vocation, place, people, etc. I believe it’s about following Him, loving people, seeking God in every aspect of my life. I believe it is about following my heart, enjoying life, experiencing pain, immersing myself in community, and finding God in places that I hadn’t thought to look in the past. I don’t believe that God doesn’t care what I choose, but I don’t think that He wants to make the choice for me. There are many things that I can do, and God could use me in each of them. Kyle uses the comparison of parent/child relationship that I think works well for me. My parents raised me with good values, morals, and taught me how to make the right choices in life. They care about what choices I make in life, but they aren’t still going to tell me what choices I should make. They aren’t going to say, “Tom, you need to choose this career for your life.” That doesn’t mean that they don’t care what I do, but it does mean that they will still be proud of me if I chose business, teaching, or to go back to school. I think God is very similar. God can and will use me in anything that I choose to do in life.
So, how does prayer fit into this? Here’s my take on this. I’ll continue with the parent/child comparison. I won’t make any major decision in my life without talking to my parents. I’ll tell them what I’m considering. We’ll talk about the pros and cons, they'll tell me about things to think about, but what they won’t do is say, “Tom, here is the decision. Here is the path you should follow”. They will listen, they will give advice, and they will support me in whichever choice I make. Much the same, I will never make those same decisions without talking to God. I’ll talk to him about my options, I’ll ask Him questions, and I’ll seek His advice. After I do that I will be able to make a sound decision because I know that whatever path I follow, God will still be there.
Before I get started, I think I’ll start with my view on God’s will in my life. I’m not really sure that I believe that God has a specific will for my life (hold on, put the phone down and read on before you call me to freak out). I’ve probably reached this conclusion before, but had not put it to such simple words in the past. Someone in our group had phrased it as such and it definitely struck a chord with me. I just have trouble believing that God a specific plan for where he wants me to be, what he wants me to do, and who he wants me to know. The reason I have trouble with this is because what happens when I choose the wrong thing to do, the wrong place to be, or the wrong people to be with? I firmly believe that everything you experience in life brings you to where you are. I cannot separate the good experiences from the bad experiences in life when I think of what has shaped me. I know I’ve made the wrong choices in the past. Chosen the wrong paths, been in the wrong relationships, said the wrong things, etc. So, if I believe that God has specific things he wants me to be doing and I believe that everything brings you to where you are/who you are, then as soon as you make one wrong choice you’ve messed the whole thing up. I just have found that the view that God has specific thing he wants me to do next is a bit destructive. If I think about that it causes me to freeze. How do I know what God wants me to do next? What if I make the wrong choice? If I make the wrong choice, what does that mean about God’s original plan for me? Talk about a nervous breakdown. This rings home for me because I have found myself in this cycle before. After college I thought I had everything figured out about what God wanted in my life. All of the questions I had asked above, I thought I knew. Then it all collapsed on me. This caused the next two years to be a bit difficult for me. I probably spent the first year questioning every decision I made and thinking that I had destroyed my life because I had the wrong choices. I had not followed “God’s Will” for my life. Where should I have been, what should I have been doing, etc… I missed out! I made the wrong choice, and that meant that I missed out on what would have been the right choice. The year after that I spent running away from God because I decided that He had not shown me his will, so it was His fault that everything had gone wrong.
So, here is where I have come to for now. I believe that God has a will for my life, but its not about a specific vocation, place, people, etc. I believe it’s about following Him, loving people, seeking God in every aspect of my life. I believe it is about following my heart, enjoying life, experiencing pain, immersing myself in community, and finding God in places that I hadn’t thought to look in the past. I don’t believe that God doesn’t care what I choose, but I don’t think that He wants to make the choice for me. There are many things that I can do, and God could use me in each of them. Kyle uses the comparison of parent/child relationship that I think works well for me. My parents raised me with good values, morals, and taught me how to make the right choices in life. They care about what choices I make in life, but they aren’t still going to tell me what choices I should make. They aren’t going to say, “Tom, you need to choose this career for your life.” That doesn’t mean that they don’t care what I do, but it does mean that they will still be proud of me if I chose business, teaching, or to go back to school. I think God is very similar. God can and will use me in anything that I choose to do in life.
So, how does prayer fit into this? Here’s my take on this. I’ll continue with the parent/child comparison. I won’t make any major decision in my life without talking to my parents. I’ll tell them what I’m considering. We’ll talk about the pros and cons, they'll tell me about things to think about, but what they won’t do is say, “Tom, here is the decision. Here is the path you should follow”. They will listen, they will give advice, and they will support me in whichever choice I make. Much the same, I will never make those same decisions without talking to God. I’ll talk to him about my options, I’ll ask Him questions, and I’ll seek His advice. After I do that I will be able to make a sound decision because I know that whatever path I follow, God will still be there.
