Sunday, April 11, 2004
A Lost Innocence
I went to Six Flags on Sat to go see DCB and Jars play on Sat night during Six Flags' Young Christian's Day (or something like that). Before I get to far along - let me announce this: I somehow rode my first roller coaster of my life on Sat! I rode the one with the 2 loops 3 times and then proceeded to the Texas Giant for the wooden roller coaster (which is a bit abusive on the body). I've jumped out of a plane, been sandboarding, and white-water rafting; yet somehow never been on roller coaster. It was a blast, but the downside is that if I ever play "I never" again I'll have lost my ultimate response that is almost sure to get everyone in the room.
Okay - so back to the real point of this post. I was sitting at the concert and taking in my surroundings and my youth came flooding back to me. My time in junior high and high school was basically 100% centered around my church youth group and choir (yes - I was in a choir, no I still can't sing worth a lick). My summers were spent doing camps, retreats, lock-ins, etc. Every spring however was the annual trip to Silver Dollar City for Young Christians Weekend. This weekend was my first experience with Christian music, speakers, etc. I remember sitting at the Echo Hollow amphitheater and listening to Rick Cua blasting out Can't Stand Too Tall. Somehow blinded by emotion and the speakers I was duped into thinking this was the greatest music I have ever heard in my life. I was in sixth grade and apparently easily influenced. This evening at the amphitheatres was my "saved" experience (a word that I'm not so found of now) and one that I would begin to repeat every young Christians weekend, church camp, and retreat. While I may hate the phrase now the day was significant in the early years of a long journey that would eventually bring to where I am now, weary for the miles, but deeper in my faith with something more to stand on. While I cringe at who I was during those years; my narrow-minded view of God, my condecending thoughts of those who did not share my beliefs, the Christian t-shirts, and the belief that secular music was straight from the devil - I do however miss one aspect of my faith then. I saw it in the kids who where there - blind faith and innocence. A young faith and realization of the greatest being without being jaded by much of life's experiences. Just knowing God and knowing his love for you, and that was all the really mattered at the time. You didn't question anything else, you just knew God. I miss that. I miss my blind faith in my Creator, the raw emotion of a young faith, and my naivete of the world. While I wouldn't ever consider going back to that young and volitale faith, I often wonder if I can ever recover from my years of cynicism that have often calloused me to the raw emotions that I often desire from my faith.
Okay - so back to the real point of this post. I was sitting at the concert and taking in my surroundings and my youth came flooding back to me. My time in junior high and high school was basically 100% centered around my church youth group and choir (yes - I was in a choir, no I still can't sing worth a lick). My summers were spent doing camps, retreats, lock-ins, etc. Every spring however was the annual trip to Silver Dollar City for Young Christians Weekend. This weekend was my first experience with Christian music, speakers, etc. I remember sitting at the Echo Hollow amphitheater and listening to Rick Cua blasting out Can't Stand Too Tall. Somehow blinded by emotion and the speakers I was duped into thinking this was the greatest music I have ever heard in my life. I was in sixth grade and apparently easily influenced. This evening at the amphitheatres was my "saved" experience (a word that I'm not so found of now) and one that I would begin to repeat every young Christians weekend, church camp, and retreat. While I may hate the phrase now the day was significant in the early years of a long journey that would eventually bring to where I am now, weary for the miles, but deeper in my faith with something more to stand on. While I cringe at who I was during those years; my narrow-minded view of God, my condecending thoughts of those who did not share my beliefs, the Christian t-shirts, and the belief that secular music was straight from the devil - I do however miss one aspect of my faith then. I saw it in the kids who where there - blind faith and innocence. A young faith and realization of the greatest being without being jaded by much of life's experiences. Just knowing God and knowing his love for you, and that was all the really mattered at the time. You didn't question anything else, you just knew God. I miss that. I miss my blind faith in my Creator, the raw emotion of a young faith, and my naivete of the world. While I wouldn't ever consider going back to that young and volitale faith, I often wonder if I can ever recover from my years of cynicism that have often calloused me to the raw emotions that I often desire from my faith.
